Overweight, Boring Children? Your Fault.

Climbing Rocks on Our Favorite Nature Trail

A recent study on why our most recent generation of children is more likely to watch TV or play video games revealed that the parents were usually at fault for their children's unhealthy behavior.

Children reported wanting to go outside & play, but parents often refused because they felt it 'wasn't safe.'

When I was about 9 years old I remember riding my bike for miles (we're talking 10+) often with a friend on the handlebars to the beach so that we could go swimming in Lake Michigan. There were plenty of other children around and we rode in the streets because motorists pretty much always got out of our way.

Though there are bike lanes by my house, I have never seen an unaccompanied child riding down my street. And, although our city law requires that in areas without bike lanes people on bikes be given the same road rights as cars, it rarely happens.

What do you think? What can we, as parents, do to make the streets safe for our kids again?

Experts blame parental fear for kids shunning cycling and swimming for TV and computers

Namaste,
Ani

People Matter

Earlier today I saw this story on Gawker.com:

"1950's Playmate Found Mummified in Home"

Wow.

Can you imagine dying and having no one notice it for nearly a year. Money can buy you a home, which she had. A career can give you something to do, which she also had. Sadly, the most impartant thing in life seemed to be lacking, people who care.

The world is full of tragedy, but the biggest tragedy of all is going through life alone. I am so grateful that God chose to make me a mother to a wonderful son. I am so grateful that God gave me the desire to stay home with him and to demonstrate daily just how much he means to me.

This story is very sad, but also a reminder for me that people are what really matter.

Namaste,
Ani

Finding the Right Friends

Friends do not live in harmony, merely, as some say, but in melody.

~Henry David Thoreau

I made a new friend last month.

A single mom, like me. Who unschools her kids, like I do. Who only serves healthy organic meals, me too. Who went against to grain and her family to create the life she wanted for her and her kids, me too. She herself is the child of a mestizo dad and a black American mom, same here.

It is so refreshing to sit and talk with someone who agrees with me. Who wants the same things out of life as I do. Who is just like me in so many ways.

We take our kids to the park, on walks and to the movies. We do bubbles and picnics and sidewalk chalk. We read books, practice writing and play pretend, all together.

No arguing.

No convincing.

No defensiveness.

When you're not doing things the 'normal' way it can be hard to socialize at times, maybe your kid is the only one who doesn't eat hotdogs or doesn't have a TV at home. Finding people who agree with you can validate your life choices and give you some easy companionship with a like minded soul.

It's nice.


Namaste,
Ani

The Simple Pleasure of Solitude...

The view from my apartment at sunrise.

I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. ~ Henry David Thoreau

My home is tiny & in the middle of the city. The only time I truly feel alone is in the early morning before the sun comes up or my son awakens. I'm usually up by 5:30 each morning. I like to make a cup of tea, sit by the window and read or just think. I love to listen to the birds chirping while I watch the sun slowly rise over the top of our building.

How do you manage to get time alone?

Saturday Morning: Living In The Moment

"The future is no place to place your better days." 

~Dave Matthews Band

It's easy to put the best days of your life somewhere in the future, or worse in the past, but what about today?

What does it benefit you to always be looking forward?

When you were very small did you wish you could go to school, maybe while watching older siblings or neighbors get onto the school bus?

When you were in school did you wish you were 'out in the world,' with a career and money and fabulous friends who partied every night?

When you began to work did you then start looking forward to, wishing for, retirement?

Do you see the pattern here?

If we keep this up we end up with a life made of wishes, and most likely regrets too.

As I write this I'm sitting on my bed. My son is across the room watching Saturday morning cartoons. The smell of freshly baked bread is coming from my kitchen. This beautiful home, this beautiful family is mine to enjoy right here, right now.

Stop for a moment. Look around you taking everything in. Forget about anything that should be done and focus on what is perfect for you right now.

Doesn't that feel good?

Namaste,
Ani

Carfree Living & Groceries

Spring is finally here & we've made it through our first winter completely carfree. Being a SAHM living a a very walkable (sidewalks), bike-able (bike lanes) & transit (bus/lightrail) friendly area made it pretty easy. In fact, the only time I really noticed not having a car was when we needed to stock up on heavy groceries.

This is how we managed:

Use a cart/stroller --- I have a double stroller (that I use for walks to the park when babysitting), I just load it up with canned goods, flour & oil and go on my merry way. I've also seen neighbors with bike trailers (the kind that kids ride in) use them for towing heavy loads.

Use a delivery service --- Some of the local grocery stores still offer delivery service (Lowes Foods in Charlotte does) and I've also used a weekly produce delivery service (Absolute Organics in Charlotte).

Go several times a week --- We're vegan and our diet is mostly fresh organic produce, which means we travel to the store/farmers market every few days to stock up. The load is light and I usually just carry a re-usable grocery bag.

Rent/borrow a car for a monthly stock up of staples --- I also have friends who drive, so if I need to transport large amounts of flour, beans, or canned foods I ask one of them to take me. You can also rent a car for the day (and get any other errands done) or look into a car sharing service. I'd like to organize one in Charlotte, so please conact me if you're interested.

You can also purchase items from websites like drugstore.com (where I get all of my soap, toothpaste, shampoo, etc.) or netgrocer.com.


Namaste,
Ani

Kids Can Walk Too You Know

Walking in Freedom Park

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.  

~Steven Wright

When I was a kid we were a one car family. My mom was a SAHM in a small town and if we needed to go somewhere during the day we walked.

We walked to the store.
We walked to school.
We walked to the park.
We walked to the library.
We walked to our friends' houses.
We walked to the creek.
We walked just for fun.

My son was just 4 years old when we got rid of our car and it never crossed my mind that a 5 mile walk was too much for him until someone asked me how he did it.

Turns out, he just does.

He doesn't complain.
He walks.
He skips ahead.
He collects sticks, rocks and leaves.
He talks about what he sees.
He asks for the occasional drink of water.

Try taking a walk around the block with your kid. Then to the park. Then to someplace even farther away. Keep them engaged. They'll love it.

Namaste,
Ani

Our Simple Vegan Pantry

Simple Moroccan Seasoned Root Veggies.

I've gotten so many requests for more information on what (exactly) we eat. So here it is, an overview of our simple vegan pantry.

• Baking
• Flour
• Whole Wheat
• Unbleached
• Bread
• Cornmeal
• Sugar
• Baking Soda 
• Baking Powder
• Cocoa Powder
• Cornstarch
• Flax Meal
• Yeast
• Vanilla Extract
• Soy Milk
• Spices
• Sea Salt
• Black Pepper
• Curry Powder
• Dried Pepper Flakes
• Cinnamon
• Nutmeg
• Cumin
• Powdered Ginger
• Chili Powder
• Dried Herbs
• Basil
• Oregano
• Thyme
• Bay Leaves
• General 
• Dried Beans
• Split Peas
• Black Beans
• Kidney Beans
• Pinto Beans
• Canned tomatoes
• Tomato Sauce
• Olive Oil
• Vegetable Oil
• Vegetable Bouillon
• Rice
• Pasta
• Rice Noodles
• Peanut Butter
• Raisins
• Dried Cranberries
• Kalamata Olives
• White vinegar
• Vegan (canola) Mayonnaise
• Ketchup
• Mustard
• Soy Sauce
• Worcestershire Sauce
• Agave Syrup
• Tofu
• Oatmeal
• Grits
• Applesauce
• Fresh Produce

You'll probably notice that almost every item on that list has less than three ingredients. We very rarely eat convenience foods, but when we do Amy's is our go to brand. Baking and making sauces/dressings from scratch allows me to know exactly what goes into our food as well as save a tremendous amount of money.

Namaste,

Ani

Being a Stay At Home Mom

For me, being a mom means being a stay at home mom.


Growing up in rural Michigan almost every mom I interacted with, including my own, was a stay at home mom. As I got older I found out that almost every stay at home mom I knew, including my own, was college educated. It didn't seem 'odd' to me to get a liberal arts education and use it in the raising of children. In fact, until I became a mom myself, I never realized that some people looked at stay at home moms with such disdain.


(**NOTE:** I think that ALL moms are equally valuable, but, the way I saw motherhood done would be impossible for me to maintain (without a full staff) if I worked outside of the home in addition to my duties at home.)


I recently had a terrible experience on a popular social networking site when one of my 'friends' said that stay at home mom's were lazy leeches and needed to get off of their butt's and do something with their lives. I was horrified. I KNOW the value of being a stay at home mom personally, but do other people?


Does not having a career outside of the home make us less valuable to society? Are we 'wasting' our expensive university degrees by staying home with our young children? It isn't like I'm reading him Kant's 'Critique of Pure Reason' as a bedtime story or anything.


While I certainly don't believe that I'd like to find out what all of you think.

What I'm Reading...

I loved this post about choices when ending a relationship over on The Upbeat Dad so much that I wanted to share it with all of my readers.

To Become Better or Bitter: The Choice is Yours

Namaste,

Ani

Our Simple Homeschool

I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn. ~Albert Einstein

Children love to learn. They are born with a natural curiosity about the world; which, if encouraged and not stifled, can lead them to natural and lifelong learning and discovery. In order to encourage my son in his self-education I recently set up a homeschool space in our home. A desk, a computer, paper, writing implements, a whiteboard, worksheets and books. A simple area that he can go to whenever he wants to explore the academic side of life. :)

Here are some tips for how we set up a learning area in our home:

• Get a computer -- We found an old eMac for less than $100 online. My son can use it to visit learning websites like pbskids.org, starfall.com, and nickjr.com; or to practice his typing skills in a simple text editor. Once you've set it up with software, games or websites that you choose, a computer can be a great learning tool for a preschooler.

• Collect books on different subjects -- We have so many books on so many things. Birthdays and holidays bring gifts of books on my sons latest obsession (currently space). I've separated them into themes and have searched out supporting materials on the web to create learning units. He likes to read, and afterward there's usually a fun activity. ;)

• Buy (or make) preschool paraphernalia -- Expose your child to flashcards, scissors, construction paper, glue, craft materials, worksheets and anything else that is traditionally found in a preschool classroom. When I find a new activity I usually do it with him at least once and show him where it will be stored. After that he can choose which activity he wants to do without needing to ask me.

• Carve out a quiet kid-friendly study space -- It's really important for your child to have a quiet and clean space to work in. When you're setting it up, think of all of the things you would want in a study space and keep your child's size in mind. Make sure everything can be reached easily.

Here are some other places on the web you can use for resources:

My Montessori House

The FreeChild Project

TLS Books

The Homeschool Classroom

The Benefits of Living Small

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.

~Maya Angelou

Many people ask me how I have been able to stay home with my son as a single mom who isn't on welfare and doesn't get alimony payments. It wasn't an easy transition, but it was a simple one. I had to re-evaluate my life and get rid of all the extraneous while holding on to what really mattered to me. That is being a mom and an individual.

I certainly didn't want to spend 10 hours a day at work only to rush to pick my son up from daycare just a few moments before he went to bed for the night, just to create the illusion that I was keeping up with the Joneses. That is no kind of life. At least it is no kind of life for me. To create a life that I actually wanted to live I needed to make some big changes.

The biggest change I made was downsizing from a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom 1,400 square foot home with a yard and a garage to a 625 square foot 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment.

I took a long hard look at my life and what I wanted to get from it. I wasn't throwing big dinner parties. I wasn't hosting overnight guests. I was spending nearly 70% of my monthly budget on housing, most of which I didn't even use. It was then that I decided to get rid of much of my stuff and move into a smaller home.

We are able to live quite comfortably in a smaller home. There is less maintenance and the extra room in my budget has allowed me to weather emergencies that would have otherwise sent me scurrying back into the rat race. We have less stuff, which means less stuff to maintain. Choosing a smaller home also means we can live closer to the center of the city which allows me to be carfree while having access to parks, public transportation and plenty of cultural activities for my son.

However, the biggest benefit of all has been that these last four years have been spent with my family and I wouldn't trade any amount of space for that!

Namaste,

Ani

Thoughts on Time...

Time is free, but it's priceless.

You can't own it, but you can use it.

You can't keep it, but you can spend it.

Once you've lost it, you can never get it back.

~Harvey MacKay

Choose to spend your time wisely.

Our Simple Christmas

Yesterday was our first "Simple Christmas.'

No gifts. No tree.

Just us and our love for each other.

I've worked so hard to create a beautiful uncluttered home filled with only the things that we use and need, that I didn't want to add to our possessions just to be able to say we gave/received gifts on Christmas. Now that the day is over I'm really happy that I made that decision.

We don't need piles of stuff to demonstrate our love for each other. Holidays are great, but the fact is, a simple life has room for demonstrating daily that we love and appreciate each other.

Instead of spending my day cooking a huge meal, cleaning up wrapping paper and thinking about how I'd pay for it all, I decided to spend the day reading, knitting, laughing, talking to family and playing with my son.

Our new Christmas tradition will be a house full of family and love, the rest just doesn't matter.