Earlier today I saw this story on Gawker.com:
"1950's Playmate Found Mummified in Home"
Wow.
Can you imagine dying and having no one notice it for nearly a year. Money can buy you a home, which she had. A career can give you something to do, which she also had. Sadly, the most impartant thing in life seemed to be lacking, people who care.
The world is full of tragedy, but the biggest tragedy of all is going through life alone. I am so grateful that God chose to make me a mother to a wonderful son. I am so grateful that God gave me the desire to stay home with him and to demonstrate daily just how much he means to me.
This story is very sad, but also a reminder for me that people are what really matter.
Namaste,
Ani
Showing posts with label single parent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single parent. Show all posts
Collaborative Consumption & The Power of The Internet
One of the ways I've been able to fit into a 625 square foot apartment comfortably with a child is by owning less stuff. But, sometimes, I still need that stuff. Enter the idea of collaborative consumption. Instead of everyone on the block each owning a lawnmower we own one in common and take turns sharing. It isn't as convenient as having your own everything, but, with the right sharers it can be pretty easy and save you thousands of dollars a year.
Here are some places that can help you get started on your free/cheap/barter journey:
ThredUp - Instead of buying new or saving your old clothes for your next baby try this website. You can swap clothes and toys with other moms online avoiding the need to store unused stuff in your house.
BabyPlays - This is a toy rental service similar to Netflix. For a monthly fee you can rent toys and return them when your kids get tired of playing with them. Great way to avoid having a bunch of outgrown toys laying around.
Kid-to-Kid - Find a children's consignment store in your area. I love this particular chain because the quality is pretty consistent no matter where you go.
PaperbackSwap - I've been a member of this website, and its sister site SwapaDVD, for years and I love it. Great way to get rid of books or movies you don't like and don't anticipate using again.
Hulu - This is by far my favorite website to watch free TV and movies online. My kid loves old cartoons from the 80's, they've got plenty of full series available there, and I love cheesy sci-fi -- which they've got in abundance. They also have a Hulu+ subscription service which offers access to some popular TV shows and movies that aren't streaming for free.
Freecycle - If you haven't heard of this you're missing out bigtime. Have something you want to get rid of but don't think you can sell? Try Freecycle, there's sure to be someone looking to turn your trash into their treasure.
Project Gutenberg - I'm slowly switching over to ebooks and this website is one of my favorites for downloading free literature. You can read them on your smartphone, tablet, ebook reader, laptop, desktop or iPod.
Skype - The best thing ever for free video calls around the world. Great for folks (like me) who live hundreds of miles away from the grandparents.
Zipcar - This is the nationwide carsharing service run by Hertz, but if you're looking for something a little less corporate just google "carsharing" and your city and to find out who's got what.
The Sharehood - A great website for connecting with people in your neighborhood who are also interested in sharing stuff.
BarterQuest - Got something (a skill or an item) to share and you know what -- not how much $ -- you want in exchange? Check out this website for peer to peer bartering opportunities.
Peer to Peer Lending - I love this idea. For when you need cash, but don't want to deal with a nameless faceless banking institution. Put a borrower profile up on one of these sites and make a connection with someone who wants to help. Zopa, Lending Club, and Prosper.
If you have any more resources please leave them in the comments.
Namaste,
Ani
Here are some places that can help you get started on your free/cheap/barter journey:
ThredUp - Instead of buying new or saving your old clothes for your next baby try this website. You can swap clothes and toys with other moms online avoiding the need to store unused stuff in your house.
BabyPlays - This is a toy rental service similar to Netflix. For a monthly fee you can rent toys and return them when your kids get tired of playing with them. Great way to avoid having a bunch of outgrown toys laying around.
Kid-to-Kid - Find a children's consignment store in your area. I love this particular chain because the quality is pretty consistent no matter where you go.
PaperbackSwap - I've been a member of this website, and its sister site SwapaDVD, for years and I love it. Great way to get rid of books or movies you don't like and don't anticipate using again.
Hulu - This is by far my favorite website to watch free TV and movies online. My kid loves old cartoons from the 80's, they've got plenty of full series available there, and I love cheesy sci-fi -- which they've got in abundance. They also have a Hulu+ subscription service which offers access to some popular TV shows and movies that aren't streaming for free.
Freecycle - If you haven't heard of this you're missing out bigtime. Have something you want to get rid of but don't think you can sell? Try Freecycle, there's sure to be someone looking to turn your trash into their treasure.
Project Gutenberg - I'm slowly switching over to ebooks and this website is one of my favorites for downloading free literature. You can read them on your smartphone, tablet, ebook reader, laptop, desktop or iPod.
Skype - The best thing ever for free video calls around the world. Great for folks (like me) who live hundreds of miles away from the grandparents.
Zipcar - This is the nationwide carsharing service run by Hertz, but if you're looking for something a little less corporate just google "carsharing" and your city and to find out who's got what.
The Sharehood - A great website for connecting with people in your neighborhood who are also interested in sharing stuff.
BarterQuest - Got something (a skill or an item) to share and you know what -- not how much $ -- you want in exchange? Check out this website for peer to peer bartering opportunities.
Peer to Peer Lending - I love this idea. For when you need cash, but don't want to deal with a nameless faceless banking institution. Put a borrower profile up on one of these sites and make a connection with someone who wants to help. Zopa, Lending Club, and Prosper.
If you have any more resources please leave them in the comments.
Namaste,
Ani
Finding the Right Friends
Friends do not live in harmony, merely, as some say, but in melody.
~Henry David Thoreau
I made a new friend last month.
A single mom, like me. Who unschools her kids, like I do. Who only serves healthy organic meals, me too. Who went against to grain and her family to create the life she wanted for her and her kids, me too. She herself is the child of a mestizo dad and a black American mom, same here.
It is so refreshing to sit and talk with someone who agrees with me. Who wants the same things out of life as I do. Who is just like me in so many ways.
We take our kids to the park, on walks and to the movies. We do bubbles and picnics and sidewalk chalk. We read books, practice writing and play pretend, all together.
No arguing.
No convincing.
No defensiveness.
When you're not doing things the 'normal' way it can be hard to socialize at times, maybe your kid is the only one who doesn't eat hotdogs or doesn't have a TV at home. Finding people who agree with you can validate your life choices and give you some easy companionship with a like minded soul.
It's nice.
Namaste,
Ani
The Simple Pleasure of Solitude...
 |
| The view from my apartment at sunrise. |
I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. ~ Henry David Thoreau
My home is tiny & in the middle of the city. The only time I truly feel alone is in the early morning before the sun comes up or my son awakens. I'm usually up by 5:30 each morning. I like to make a cup of tea, sit by the window and read or just think. I love to listen to the birds chirping while I watch the sun slowly rise over the top of our building.
How do you manage to get time alone?
Parenting Requires Confidence
I once had a friend try to end a discussion with me by saying, "I can't win with you because you always think you're right!"
My response was, "Of course I always 'think' I'm right. If I thought I was wrong I would change my opinion to the one I thought was right!" I have plenty of confidence in my mind and it's ability to reason & reach conclusions.
I woke up thinking about this because of a discussion I had last night on Twitter. A single mom left her 13 year old home alone for 7 days while she flew to Taiwan on a business trip. My perspective; what's the big deal. Overall, opinions varied (Kelly over at KellyNaturally.com blogged about it).
The discussion, for me. boiled down to personal autonomy and the relationship between rights and responsibilities.
A single parent who is solely responsible for a child also has the sole right to make decisions regarding that child. After all, insisting that she hire a babysitter for a teenager for a seven day business trip is likely a very expensive endeavor, one seen as unnecessary by me, and apparently by the mother in question. What political scientists call an unfunded mandate (making a rule without providing the means to enforce /follow through on it).
I then disclosed that when my son was an infant I often left him alone in his crib for about 30 minutes during his naptime so that I could get grocery shopping done. This was seen by many of my followers as even more controversial than leaving a 13 year old home alone for a week. I stand by my decision.
Why? Because I can. Because no one else was there & it was my decision to make. I made it. You're welcome.
Parenting is, after all, simply using your best judgement. There are no manuals to consult. The idea of what constitutes good parenting varies from culture to culture. Several of my followers pointed out that in many cultures a 13 year old would be married with children of her own to care for.
We all know that being a leader (isn't that what a parent is after all) requires not only decision making, but commitment. Both of which take confidence in your own ability to think, and you cannot be a good parent without being a confident one.
So, the next time someone judges your parenting decisions (no matter who they are or what type of 'authority' they claim to have) take a deep breath and remind yourself that they, like you, are only human. We are all born equally autonomous. Your freedom to parent as you see fit cannot be taken away, only given away.
Namaste,
Anita
My response was, "Of course I always 'think' I'm right. If I thought I was wrong I would change my opinion to the one I thought was right!" I have plenty of confidence in my mind and it's ability to reason & reach conclusions.
I woke up thinking about this because of a discussion I had last night on Twitter. A single mom left her 13 year old home alone for 7 days while she flew to Taiwan on a business trip. My perspective; what's the big deal. Overall, opinions varied (Kelly over at KellyNaturally.com blogged about it).
The discussion, for me. boiled down to personal autonomy and the relationship between rights and responsibilities.
A single parent who is solely responsible for a child also has the sole right to make decisions regarding that child. After all, insisting that she hire a babysitter for a teenager for a seven day business trip is likely a very expensive endeavor, one seen as unnecessary by me, and apparently by the mother in question. What political scientists call an unfunded mandate (making a rule without providing the means to enforce /follow through on it).
I then disclosed that when my son was an infant I often left him alone in his crib for about 30 minutes during his naptime so that I could get grocery shopping done. This was seen by many of my followers as even more controversial than leaving a 13 year old home alone for a week. I stand by my decision.
Why? Because I can. Because no one else was there & it was my decision to make. I made it. You're welcome.
Parenting is, after all, simply using your best judgement. There are no manuals to consult. The idea of what constitutes good parenting varies from culture to culture. Several of my followers pointed out that in many cultures a 13 year old would be married with children of her own to care for.
We all know that being a leader (isn't that what a parent is after all) requires not only decision making, but commitment. Both of which take confidence in your own ability to think, and you cannot be a good parent without being a confident one.
Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. ~Dandemis
So, the next time someone judges your parenting decisions (no matter who they are or what type of 'authority' they claim to have) take a deep breath and remind yourself that they, like you, are only human. We are all born equally autonomous. Your freedom to parent as you see fit cannot be taken away, only given away.
Namaste,
Anita
What I'm Reading...
I loved this post about choices when ending a relationship over on The Upbeat Dad so much that I wanted to share it with all of my readers.
Namaste,
Ani
Take a Walk
The less I own the less stress I feel. Six weeks ago I made the decision to get rid of my car. I don't live in a city with the greatest public transportation system, although it does have several different types available, but I have very rarely regretted the decision to sell the belonging which had been the biggest drain on my time.
In fact my life has been enriched in four very meaningful ways.
1.) I've gained a renewed appreciation of nature by walking everywhere I need to go.
2.) I've gained respect for my personal time because trips take so much planning and forethought I only spend my time going places I really want to end up at.
3.) I've gained time with my son. When we walk places together he gets to ask me questions about what he sees, tell me a story, or just sing me a song. There is no radio or traffic to distract us from each other.
4.) I've gained financial flexibility. I no longer need to work more to sustain an object that sits idle for 90% of my time. No taxes. No car washes. No trips to the mechanic. No registration fees. No gasoline. No insurance payments.
As a single parent I believe that the best way to spend more time with my child is to spend more time with my child. My journey reflects that priority. I hope that all of your lives reflect your priorities as well.
Namaste,
Ani
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