Learning To Read

Showing off his new phonics set.

My 4 year old son has been asking me to teach him to read for awhile now. I put some feelers out back in January and most people I asked said that was just too young.

Since unschool is child-directed and he just didn't let it go, he asks every night during his bedtime story, I decided to pick up something at the bookstore. We went to the phonics section and he picked a set that he liked. It's pretty much 12 regular childrens' books with several "vocabulary" words highlighted.

I've decided to read each book to him at least twice a day repeating each book for a week. I'm also going to print out "worksheets" with the highlighted words on them so that he can practice writing too.

One thing I've noticed since he's been writing & identifying words is that he mixes the letters up. For instance instead of writing "Julia" he'll write "ilJua." He always includes the correct letters, just in a different spot each time. Likewise, when he 'reads' to me (spelling a word he sees) he says the letters out of order, sometimes completely backwards.

This brings me to a question for all of the educators and home educators out there; is this a phase or cause for concern? I know what dyslexia is, but I don't want to jump to conclusions when this may be a normal develeopmental stage (similar to his ADD like behavior which, it turns out, is perfectly normal for a 4 year old who has never been made to sit criss-cross-applesauce in a circle on the floor. ;)

Chime in below and let me know what you think. Thanks to all of my wonderful readers for the help.

Namaste,
Ani

Wordless Wednesday: Ewww! Gross!

This is what having a little boy means to me... ♥

Overweight, Boring Children? Your Fault.

Climbing Rocks on Our Favorite Nature Trail

A recent study on why our most recent generation of children is more likely to watch TV or play video games revealed that the parents were usually at fault for their children's unhealthy behavior.

Children reported wanting to go outside & play, but parents often refused because they felt it 'wasn't safe.'

When I was about 9 years old I remember riding my bike for miles (we're talking 10+) often with a friend on the handlebars to the beach so that we could go swimming in Lake Michigan. There were plenty of other children around and we rode in the streets because motorists pretty much always got out of our way.

Though there are bike lanes by my house, I have never seen an unaccompanied child riding down my street. And, although our city law requires that in areas without bike lanes people on bikes be given the same road rights as cars, it rarely happens.

What do you think? What can we, as parents, do to make the streets safe for our kids again?

Experts blame parental fear for kids shunning cycling and swimming for TV and computers

Namaste,
Ani

Collaborative Consumption & The Power of The Internet

One of the ways I've been able to fit into a 625 square foot apartment comfortably with a child is by owning less stuff. But, sometimes, I still need that stuff. Enter the idea of collaborative consumption. Instead of everyone on the block each owning a lawnmower we own one in common and take turns sharing. It isn't as convenient as having your own everything, but, with the right sharers it can be pretty easy and save you thousands of dollars a year.

Here are some places that can help you get started on your free/cheap/barter journey:

ThredUp - Instead of buying new or saving your old clothes for your next baby try this website. You can swap clothes and toys with other moms online avoiding the need to store unused stuff in your house.

BabyPlays - This is a toy rental service similar to Netflix. For a monthly fee you can rent toys and return them when your kids get tired of playing with them. Great way to avoid having a bunch of outgrown toys laying around.

Kid-to-Kid - Find a children's consignment store in your area. I love this particular chain because the quality is pretty consistent no matter where you go.

PaperbackSwap - I've been a member of this website, and its sister site SwapaDVD, for years and I love it. Great way to get rid of books or movies you don't like and don't anticipate using again.

Hulu - This is by far my favorite website to watch free TV and movies online. My kid loves old cartoons from the 80's, they've got plenty of full series available there, and I love cheesy sci-fi -- which they've got in abundance. They also have a Hulu+ subscription service which offers access to some popular TV shows and movies that aren't streaming for free.

Freecycle - If you haven't heard of this you're missing out bigtime. Have something you want to get rid of but don't think you can sell? Try Freecycle, there's sure to be someone looking to turn your trash into their treasure.

Project Gutenberg - I'm slowly switching over to ebooks and this website is one of my favorites for downloading free literature. You can read them on your smartphone, tablet, ebook reader, laptop, desktop or iPod.

Skype - The best thing ever for free video calls around the world. Great for folks (like me) who live hundreds of miles away from the grandparents.

Zipcar - This is the nationwide carsharing service run by Hertz, but if you're looking for something a little less corporate just google "carsharing" and your city and to find out who's got what.

The Sharehood - A great website for connecting with people in your neighborhood who are also interested in sharing stuff.

BarterQuest - Got something (a skill or an item) to share and you know what -- not how much $ -- you want in exchange? Check out this website for peer to peer bartering opportunities.

Peer to Peer Lending - I love this idea. For when you need cash, but don't want to deal with a nameless faceless banking institution. Put a borrower profile up on one of these sites and make a connection with someone who wants to help. Zopa, Lending Club, and Prosper.

If you have any more resources please leave them in the comments.

Namaste,
Ani

Wordless Wednesday: Sandbox

 

 

 

 

 

He's finally old enough to make friends and play without me.

Finding the Right Friends

Friends do not live in harmony, merely, as some say, but in melody.

~Henry David Thoreau

I made a new friend last month.

A single mom, like me. Who unschools her kids, like I do. Who only serves healthy organic meals, me too. Who went against to grain and her family to create the life she wanted for her and her kids, me too. She herself is the child of a mestizo dad and a black American mom, same here.

It is so refreshing to sit and talk with someone who agrees with me. Who wants the same things out of life as I do. Who is just like me in so many ways.

We take our kids to the park, on walks and to the movies. We do bubbles and picnics and sidewalk chalk. We read books, practice writing and play pretend, all together.

No arguing.

No convincing.

No defensiveness.

When you're not doing things the 'normal' way it can be hard to socialize at times, maybe your kid is the only one who doesn't eat hotdogs or doesn't have a TV at home. Finding people who agree with you can validate your life choices and give you some easy companionship with a like minded soul.

It's nice.


Namaste,
Ani

The Simple Pleasure of Solitude...

The view from my apartment at sunrise.

I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. ~ Henry David Thoreau

My home is tiny & in the middle of the city. The only time I truly feel alone is in the early morning before the sun comes up or my son awakens. I'm usually up by 5:30 each morning. I like to make a cup of tea, sit by the window and read or just think. I love to listen to the birds chirping while I watch the sun slowly rise over the top of our building.

How do you manage to get time alone?

Wordless Wednesday: Bus Stop Dandelion

Parenting Requires Confidence

I once had a friend try to end a discussion with me by saying, "I can't win with you because you always think you're right!"

My response was, "Of course I always 'think' I'm right. If I thought I was wrong I would change my opinion to the one I thought was right!" I have plenty of confidence in my mind and it's ability to reason & reach conclusions.

I woke up thinking about this because of a discussion I had last night on Twitter. A single mom left her 13 year old home alone for 7 days while she flew to Taiwan on a business trip. My perspective; what's the big deal. Overall, opinions varied (Kelly over at KellyNaturally.com blogged about it).

The discussion, for me. boiled down to personal autonomy and the relationship between rights and responsibilities.

A single parent who is solely responsible for a child also has the sole right to make decisions regarding that child. After all, insisting that she hire a babysitter for a teenager for a seven day business trip is likely a very expensive endeavor, one seen as unnecessary by me, and apparently by the mother in question. What political scientists call an unfunded mandate (making a rule without providing the means to enforce /follow through on it).

I then disclosed that when my son was an infant I often left him alone in his crib for about 30 minutes during his naptime so that I could get grocery shopping done. This was seen by many of my followers as even more controversial than leaving a 13 year old home alone for a week. I stand by my decision.

Why? Because I can. Because no one else was there & it was my decision to make. I made it. You're welcome.

Parenting is, after all, simply using your best judgement. There are no manuals to consult. The idea of what constitutes good parenting varies from culture to culture. Several of my followers pointed out that in many cultures a 13 year old would be married with children of her own to care for.

We all know that being a leader (isn't that what a parent is after all) requires not only decision making, but commitment. Both of which take confidence in your own ability to think, and you cannot be a good parent without being a confident one.

Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. ~Dandemis

So, the next time someone judges your parenting decisions (no matter who they are or what type of 'authority' they claim to have) take a deep breath and remind yourself that they, like you, are only human. We are all born equally autonomous. Your freedom to parent as you see fit cannot be taken away, only given away.

Namaste,
Anita

Wordless Wednesday: Drawing in The Dirt

He drew me a heart & a map home.

Saturday Morning: Living In The Moment

"The future is no place to place your better days." 

~Dave Matthews Band

It's easy to put the best days of your life somewhere in the future, or worse in the past, but what about today?

What does it benefit you to always be looking forward?

When you were very small did you wish you could go to school, maybe while watching older siblings or neighbors get onto the school bus?

When you were in school did you wish you were 'out in the world,' with a career and money and fabulous friends who partied every night?

When you began to work did you then start looking forward to, wishing for, retirement?

Do you see the pattern here?

If we keep this up we end up with a life made of wishes, and most likely regrets too.

As I write this I'm sitting on my bed. My son is across the room watching Saturday morning cartoons. The smell of freshly baked bread is coming from my kitchen. This beautiful home, this beautiful family is mine to enjoy right here, right now.

Stop for a moment. Look around you taking everything in. Forget about anything that should be done and focus on what is perfect for you right now.

Doesn't that feel good?

Namaste,
Ani

Sometimes It Rains...

Pick up a pair of fun rainboots & a colorful umbrella to turn your rainy day walks into little adventures!

Turns out, walking to the store in the rain can actually be pretty fun!

Wordless Wednesday: Learning to Write

My son practicing his writing on the living room floor.

Meatless Monday: Simple Vegan Chocolate Cake

Ready to go into the oven.

Ingredients:

3 cups flour

2 cups sugar

6 tablespoons cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

2 cups water

¾ cups vegetable oil

2 tablespoons vinegar

2 teaspoons vanilla

The finished cake!

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

Mix dry ingredients

Add in wet ingredients

Pour into baking pan

Bake for 30-40 minutes

The best part of baking!

Kids Can Walk Too You Know

Walking in Freedom Park

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.  

~Steven Wright

When I was a kid we were a one car family. My mom was a SAHM in a small town and if we needed to go somewhere during the day we walked.

We walked to the store.
We walked to school.
We walked to the park.
We walked to the library.
We walked to our friends' houses.
We walked to the creek.
We walked just for fun.

My son was just 4 years old when we got rid of our car and it never crossed my mind that a 5 mile walk was too much for him until someone asked me how he did it.

Turns out, he just does.

He doesn't complain.
He walks.
He skips ahead.
He collects sticks, rocks and leaves.
He talks about what he sees.
He asks for the occasional drink of water.

Try taking a walk around the block with your kid. Then to the park. Then to someplace even farther away. Keep them engaged. They'll love it.

Namaste,
Ani

Being a Stay At Home Mom

For me, being a mom means being a stay at home mom.


Growing up in rural Michigan almost every mom I interacted with, including my own, was a stay at home mom. As I got older I found out that almost every stay at home mom I knew, including my own, was college educated. It didn't seem 'odd' to me to get a liberal arts education and use it in the raising of children. In fact, until I became a mom myself, I never realized that some people looked at stay at home moms with such disdain.


(**NOTE:** I think that ALL moms are equally valuable, but, the way I saw motherhood done would be impossible for me to maintain (without a full staff) if I worked outside of the home in addition to my duties at home.)


I recently had a terrible experience on a popular social networking site when one of my 'friends' said that stay at home mom's were lazy leeches and needed to get off of their butt's and do something with their lives. I was horrified. I KNOW the value of being a stay at home mom personally, but do other people?


Does not having a career outside of the home make us less valuable to society? Are we 'wasting' our expensive university degrees by staying home with our young children? It isn't like I'm reading him Kant's 'Critique of Pure Reason' as a bedtime story or anything.


While I certainly don't believe that I'd like to find out what all of you think.

Wordless Wednesday: The Organized Closet

A place for everything, and everything in its place. :)

Why We Simplified Our Eating Habits

Who hasn't gone to the back of a prepackaged food item to check the ingredients only to be confronted by something that looks like this.

That, my friends, is a package of plain bread crumbs.

I don't know about you, but when I bake bread this is what I put into it:

-- Water

-- Sugar

-- Salt

-- Vinegar

-- Vegetable oil

-- Flour

-- Yeast

Those additional hard to identify and even harder to pronounce ingredients inspired me to simplify our eating habits. In a big way.

We dropped the meat, fish & chicken and moved to a mostly organic whole food diet. I feel much better about what I'm feeding myself and my son.

Here are a few reasons you may want to simplify your eating habits as well:

1. It's better for your health -- A diet rich in vegetables, beans and grains is great for your health. You end up eating more vegetables to feel full and reap the benefits of naturally present nutrients & fibers that are often processed out of convenience food. Ever notice how the oldest people in the world tend to be farmers or fishers? Most likely their diets, rich in fresh unprocessed foods, contribute greatly to their longevity
2. It's better for the environment -- Eating locally farmed fresh food decreases the amount of fuel used for transport and avoids driving up prices in food producing areas in a way that may negatively affect the local environment.
3. It's cheaper -- Buying flour, cornmeal, sugar, oil, beans and vegetables and preparing them yourself is way cheaper than buying convenience foods or meat. Try buying foods with less than three ingredients for a week and see how much money you save!
4. It just tastes better -- I love freshly prepared foods. Vegetables that are still crisp, not canned and soggy, and freshly baked bread. Quality ingredients produce a quality product. After eating 'clean' for a few weeks I was able to really enjoy the natural flavors in food and as a result I enjoy eating more than ever.
5. It's an enjoyable family bonding experience -- I love to get in the kitchen and cook with my son. He runs and gets his apron and his stool and is always eager to help out. He asks questions about what is going into his meal & why. Plus, any time your kids spend with you, learning from you, is time that they aren't spending being influenced by the media, in ways you may or may not approve of.

The Beauty of Letting Go

This morning my son presented me with a drawing and the first thought in my mind was; "Dear God, please slow time down." And then, I recalled an experience I had while in college.

One year a group of Tibetan Monks came to visit our campus for a few days. Several of the monks worked for hours each day creating a very beautiful, very large & very intricate sand medallion on the floor of the lobby of the building I worked in. I walked past it every day on my way into work, and again on my way home. Each time marveling at its beauty. And each day it grew more and more beautiful.

Finally, when it was finished, the university heads and a few students gathered around for a small ceremony. We marveled at the completed sand medallion's beauty, discussed how amazing it was, and wondered how the monks would transport it to its permanent location.

One of the monks stepped to the front of the group and gave a short speech thanking us for our hospitality and explaining the history of the design. He then said it would be left as a gift for the university and instructed the other monks to prepare the medallion for transport. I was sure, at this point, that they would employ some mystical eastern means to keep the medallion intact, but I was quickly proven wrong. Three of the other monks stepped out, one with a broom, one with a dustpan, and one with a glass jar.

They then began to sweep the sand into a pile and place the grains into the glass jar.

The first monk continued his speech. This was, he explained, a representation of the nature of beauty. Just because the physical art was gone didn't mean that we had never experienced its beauty. And holding onto it would not make it any more beautiful. In fact, holding onto it would make it a burden, as the entire lobby would have to remain roped off indefinitely. Just as holding onto anything beyond its time creates a burden in our lives. The monks left us with the gift of the experience of beauty, which is all we ever have anyhow, and the lesson that:

Everything is beautiful in it's own time, and in time everything is beautiful.

Holding onto past experiences, no matter how wonderful, can sometimes prevent us from seeing the beauty in the present moment. Instead, we should take every moment for what it is worth, beautiful in its own right, and then let it go so that we may receive the beauty of the next moment in full.

After remembering this I looked at my son's picture again. The picture was amazing. My child had gone, in four short years, from a helpless infant to a creative young boy. Sure, I enjoyed him then, but why shouldn't I enjoy him now too? Why waste my time as a parent of a four year old pining for my time as a parent of a 1 month old when, in truth, these moments are equally beautiful.

Namaste,

Ani

Our Simple Homeschool

I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn. ~Albert Einstein

Children love to learn. They are born with a natural curiosity about the world; which, if encouraged and not stifled, can lead them to natural and lifelong learning and discovery. In order to encourage my son in his self-education I recently set up a homeschool space in our home. A desk, a computer, paper, writing implements, a whiteboard, worksheets and books. A simple area that he can go to whenever he wants to explore the academic side of life. :)

Here are some tips for how we set up a learning area in our home:

• Get a computer -- We found an old eMac for less than $100 online. My son can use it to visit learning websites like pbskids.org, starfall.com, and nickjr.com; or to practice his typing skills in a simple text editor. Once you've set it up with software, games or websites that you choose, a computer can be a great learning tool for a preschooler.

• Collect books on different subjects -- We have so many books on so many things. Birthdays and holidays bring gifts of books on my sons latest obsession (currently space). I've separated them into themes and have searched out supporting materials on the web to create learning units. He likes to read, and afterward there's usually a fun activity. ;)

• Buy (or make) preschool paraphernalia -- Expose your child to flashcards, scissors, construction paper, glue, craft materials, worksheets and anything else that is traditionally found in a preschool classroom. When I find a new activity I usually do it with him at least once and show him where it will be stored. After that he can choose which activity he wants to do without needing to ask me.

• Carve out a quiet kid-friendly study space -- It's really important for your child to have a quiet and clean space to work in. When you're setting it up, think of all of the things you would want in a study space and keep your child's size in mind. Make sure everything can be reached easily.

Here are some other places on the web you can use for resources:

My Montessori House

The FreeChild Project

TLS Books

The Homeschool Classroom