People Matter

Earlier today I saw this story on Gawker.com:

"1950's Playmate Found Mummified in Home"

Wow.

Can you imagine dying and having no one notice it for nearly a year. Money can buy you a home, which she had. A career can give you something to do, which she also had. Sadly, the most impartant thing in life seemed to be lacking, people who care.

The world is full of tragedy, but the biggest tragedy of all is going through life alone. I am so grateful that God chose to make me a mother to a wonderful son. I am so grateful that God gave me the desire to stay home with him and to demonstrate daily just how much he means to me.

This story is very sad, but also a reminder for me that people are what really matter.

Namaste,
Ani

Finding the Right Friends

Friends do not live in harmony, merely, as some say, but in melody.

~Henry David Thoreau

I made a new friend last month.

A single mom, like me. Who unschools her kids, like I do. Who only serves healthy organic meals, me too. Who went against to grain and her family to create the life she wanted for her and her kids, me too. She herself is the child of a mestizo dad and a black American mom, same here.

It is so refreshing to sit and talk with someone who agrees with me. Who wants the same things out of life as I do. Who is just like me in so many ways.

We take our kids to the park, on walks and to the movies. We do bubbles and picnics and sidewalk chalk. We read books, practice writing and play pretend, all together.

No arguing.

No convincing.

No defensiveness.

When you're not doing things the 'normal' way it can be hard to socialize at times, maybe your kid is the only one who doesn't eat hotdogs or doesn't have a TV at home. Finding people who agree with you can validate your life choices and give you some easy companionship with a like minded soul.

It's nice.


Namaste,
Ani

Saturday Morning: Living In The Moment

"The future is no place to place your better days." 

~Dave Matthews Band

It's easy to put the best days of your life somewhere in the future, or worse in the past, but what about today?

What does it benefit you to always be looking forward?

When you were very small did you wish you could go to school, maybe while watching older siblings or neighbors get onto the school bus?

When you were in school did you wish you were 'out in the world,' with a career and money and fabulous friends who partied every night?

When you began to work did you then start looking forward to, wishing for, retirement?

Do you see the pattern here?

If we keep this up we end up with a life made of wishes, and most likely regrets too.

As I write this I'm sitting on my bed. My son is across the room watching Saturday morning cartoons. The smell of freshly baked bread is coming from my kitchen. This beautiful home, this beautiful family is mine to enjoy right here, right now.

Stop for a moment. Look around you taking everything in. Forget about anything that should be done and focus on what is perfect for you right now.

Doesn't that feel good?

Namaste,
Ani

Living Your Life Isn't a 'Luxury'

Do you ever feel envy towards someone who sees that their life isn't headed where they want, stops, and changes direction?

Do you think it's 'easy' for them, but not for you?

Really?

The question I get asked most by people who read my blog is "what made you do it?"  What made you sell your house, quit your job & move half-way across the country alone, with your two year old son?

The short answer is, "what else was I gonna do?"

I was in a rut. I worked from dusk 'til dawn so that I could pay someone else to raise my son. I started to think about what I was working for... to sleep? This was my life after all.

This IS my life.

So if you want to make a change do it. Do it now. Don't wait until the time comes when you wake up thinking you should make a change while you're still young only to look in the mirror to see that you're NOT that young anymore.

This is, after all, your life. Living it isn't a luxury.

What I'm Reading...

I loved this post about choices when ending a relationship over on The Upbeat Dad so much that I wanted to share it with all of my readers.

To Become Better or Bitter: The Choice is Yours

Namaste,

Ani

The Beauty of Letting Go

This morning my son presented me with a drawing and the first thought in my mind was; "Dear God, please slow time down." And then, I recalled an experience I had while in college.

One year a group of Tibetan Monks came to visit our campus for a few days. Several of the monks worked for hours each day creating a very beautiful, very large & very intricate sand medallion on the floor of the lobby of the building I worked in. I walked past it every day on my way into work, and again on my way home. Each time marveling at its beauty. And each day it grew more and more beautiful.

Finally, when it was finished, the university heads and a few students gathered around for a small ceremony. We marveled at the completed sand medallion's beauty, discussed how amazing it was, and wondered how the monks would transport it to its permanent location.

One of the monks stepped to the front of the group and gave a short speech thanking us for our hospitality and explaining the history of the design. He then said it would be left as a gift for the university and instructed the other monks to prepare the medallion for transport. I was sure, at this point, that they would employ some mystical eastern means to keep the medallion intact, but I was quickly proven wrong. Three of the other monks stepped out, one with a broom, one with a dustpan, and one with a glass jar.

They then began to sweep the sand into a pile and place the grains into the glass jar.

The first monk continued his speech. This was, he explained, a representation of the nature of beauty. Just because the physical art was gone didn't mean that we had never experienced its beauty. And holding onto it would not make it any more beautiful. In fact, holding onto it would make it a burden, as the entire lobby would have to remain roped off indefinitely. Just as holding onto anything beyond its time creates a burden in our lives. The monks left us with the gift of the experience of beauty, which is all we ever have anyhow, and the lesson that:

Everything is beautiful in it's own time, and in time everything is beautiful.

Holding onto past experiences, no matter how wonderful, can sometimes prevent us from seeing the beauty in the present moment. Instead, we should take every moment for what it is worth, beautiful in its own right, and then let it go so that we may receive the beauty of the next moment in full.

After remembering this I looked at my son's picture again. The picture was amazing. My child had gone, in four short years, from a helpless infant to a creative young boy. Sure, I enjoyed him then, but why shouldn't I enjoy him now too? Why waste my time as a parent of a four year old pining for my time as a parent of a 1 month old when, in truth, these moments are equally beautiful.

Namaste,

Ani

Thoughts on Time...

Time is free, but it's priceless.

You can't own it, but you can use it.

You can't keep it, but you can spend it.

Once you've lost it, you can never get it back.

~Harvey MacKay

Choose to spend your time wisely.